In a world where geeks and nerds have long been shunned their extraordinary genius and single minded devotion to their hobbies, evil has arisen. Money grubbing corporations, suit wearing anti-pr0n politicians, hate filled Southern Baptist preachers who dance with snakes, they swarm down on society like a wave, washing away geeky joy like a tsnumani.
Who will stand up for the geek in all of us? Who will battle the evil that tries to consume us? \/\/h0 \/\/i|| 74|k |ik3 7hiZ f0r n0 r34Z0n?
THE MIGHTY ASL TEAM!
From the mighty towers of Osgiliathtartanican arises ARCHIMAGE
a level 67 badass witchwench here to banish buggy MMORPG's and cheat exploiters to the fiery pits of Mordothoginatory! By day she is mild mannered school teacher Lucy Lustless
, by night she adorns her cloak and flowy flimsy mage dress with the oodles of cleavage and creamy thighs showing and.... *drools* Oh sorry. Powers include chain lightning, projectile fireballs, and the ability to raise the undead to do her bidding for 30 seconds at a time.
Beside her is the moral compass of the team, the ever vigilante and heroic SLACKER
. He is always on the lookout for society's attacks upon the noble geeks, keeping a watch from his local coffeeshop where he dons the seemingly harmless guise of Marlon Eastwood
, struggling screenwriter bitter about Hollywood's unwillingness to produce his well thought out 4 hour opus of the birthing rituals of South American pygmy tapirs. It's a musical. He also spends 18 hours a day gaming and has the original Contra code tattooed on his feet in the event he ever forgets. His powers include super speed, super procrastination (which balances out the speed), a dry wit, and the ability to read Tolstoy's the Death of Ilyich backwards while drunk.
The leader of this mighty fellowship is LINUX
who after years of battling the bluescreen of death as Sarah O'YesaTerminatorReference
in her thankless IT job, had her company send that job to India and found herself polishing her computer degree while working as a cashier at the coffeeshop that SLACKER
frequents. It was while playing Ghost Recon 2 at a LAN party that she, after far too many beers and a baggy of something grown in Slacker's
roommate's 'secret room', decided to replace parts of her body with computer components in the hopes of augmenting herself and to get a better wifi signal. Once completed she found herself able to haxx0r any computer within a ten foot range, the ability to fire lightning bolts out of her finger tips, and she got free satellite transmissions from Honduras. She also needed an OS to handle all the computing power that her new cyborg bits required, thus she became the only OS that her haxx0rness would allow, also it's free and her brokeass had no choice, LINUX!
Together the three keep the world safe for true geeks everywhere!
And they answer all questions of "HAI! A/S/L?! HAI! BUZZ!!!
" with "check my profile you asshat!"
's guy friend as Slacker
got the background going
This is for Longstock and Della-stock's superhero contest
On a totally unrelated note, that new Bob Dylan album rocks, so does the new Breaking Benjamin, I also listened to a lot of Crowbar and Amon Amarth while doing this piece. I'm weird I know.
I give Manipulators full permission to post this.